The Gorilla

Always check the calendar before you go out to an open mic, just in case it got cancelled, unless you want to just leave it to chance.

I just left it to chance tonight. It was really stupid, to be honest. I thought, hey, it’s almost Halloween, I’ll go in a costume! So I pulled the gorilla box down off the shelf. It wasn’t easy, because there was a stuffed toy snake, a sweatshirt, and some hats on top of it, and with each inch that I moved the box, one of those other things would fall, and I would have to put them back up. Sure, I could have taken all of that stuff down first and put it on my bed, but I’m either not that bright, or just lazy.

I got the gorilla out of the box. The feet were there, the hands, the mask, the body suit, and the black grease paint to put around my eyes. Then I thought, why don’t I just wear sunglasses under the mask so I don’t have to put the grease paint on. I tried it, and it worked really well. As I pulled the arms and legs of the body suit right-side out, I remembered that the tie strap for the neck had broken. Fortunately, I had two black shoelaces, so I just tied one on the side that had broken.

I couldn’t remember which shoes the feet fit over, but I found some skater type shoes that worked well enough.

One thing that sucks is that the suit doesn’t have pocket holes to make it easy to access your pockets through the suit, so you have to reach through the opening in the back to do it, which is hard.

I put on the suit and the feet with shorts and a black turtleneck underneath, and headed out. I was worried driving might be weird with the feet, but it was fine, so I shouldn’t have worried I guess. My plan was to park at 21st and O near Alley Katz, put on the mask and the hands, and then walk from there to the Comedy Spot. That all went fine, but then when I got to there, it was closed for a private event. Damnit. I only saw one other comedian there, Jason Bargert. He was friendly, so maybe he knew it was me, but he didn’t say he knew, so even though I suspect that he knew, I don’t know for sure. I may never know, now. He was bummed about it being closed too.

I figured it wasn’t so bad because there was also supposed to be Monster Mash night at Press Club with DJ Larry, but the problem was, it was only 7:30 PM, and that probably wouldn’t get under way until 10 PM. Oh well, I consoled myself, at least I tried. I’m still consoling myself right now while I write this.

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