Super Moon, Super Gloom
My sister and her husband have two dogs and they’ve been staying with me while they house hunt in the area. When I got home tonight after a failed, half-assed attempt to get on an open mic, she had the dogs out and said they’d been acting strange. She said they tore up all of their bedding, so she threw it away and put down new bedding, and then they tore that up too. She said it made her really angry.
My day was weird too. First off, it was cold. I went to work, worked for a while, went for a run, but then when I got back, I found out that my dinner plans with some friends had fallen through. I thought I would try to go to the open mic, but I couldn’t get out of the office. First I set the alarm and locked the doors, but I realized that I didn’t have my lunch box, nor the jar that was supposed to go in it. I frantically ran around in the office like an idiot, eventually finding it with 8 seconds left on the alarm countdown. I thought I could make it, but I failed and triggered the alarm by running out the door. Now I was locked out, so I had to use my key to get back in and disarm the alarm. That part went fine, so I armed it again and went out. Well, then I had to change out of my gross running clothes, so I went in the bathroom and changed. That went fine too, except what happened after was that I realized I had left my jacket in the office, and I had to get it because it was cold and I would probably get sick if I just left it for tomorrow. So I went in again and got it, re-armed, got out. Finally on my way.
Well, I finally got to The Comedy Spot, but I looked around and like half of the comedians I don’t like were there. I guess when there’s 30 comedians, there’s bound to be some you don’t like. I was a little bit late, so I wasn’t expecting to get on. They told me they would put me on, but I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to or not, especially with that many comedians. So, I was actually somewhat relieved when I came back after eating spicy Serrano chicken fajitas at Azul and found that they had forgotten to put me on the list. There were a lot of people there that I do like too, so I went outside and hung out with them for a while. Then this one guy that I don’t like came outside, and everyone started leaving the social circle, so I just went home.
When I got home, my cat Father McKenzie, a stray called The Strange One, and my neighbors old, half dead cat were all hanging out in front of my house, and as soon as I got out of the car, Father McKenzie attacked The Strange One repeatedly while I helplessly tried to catch him to make it stop. Finally I gave up and went inside to put down my stuff. Then I went back out after hearing more fighting, grabbed Father McKenzie by the scruff, and carried him into the garage. I called him an asshole a few times, and then put out some food for The Strange One before feeding him. I figure that might teach him a lesson, but it also might just reinforce his negative image of himself as an asshole and make him do even more asshole things, like maybe eat my sister’s puppy, Hopper. He’s been watching him. Fortunately Hopper doubles in size with each passing day, and should eventually be about the same size as Father McKenzie. Then we’ll see who eats who.
So, if today was weird, don’t blame your friends, pets, or family. Blame the Super Moon.